Feeling Defeated... need to find time to play catch up

If you haven't talked to me lately than you probably don't know that last week was quite brutal.  Anatomy test on Thursday, Theory test on Friday, Theory lab practical on Wednesday and quizzes thrown in there, too.  I was a little over confident for my Theory things and have been having trouble lately.  I didn't spend my time studying the right things for my Theory test.  I haven't gotten that grade back, but I know it's bound to be my worst grade on a Theory test.  Then I kind of tanked on my practical.  See, we have to perform a skill call retinoscopy at a certain working distance.  At the beginning we tie strings with that length to our scopes so that we're always sitting at the correct distance.  Ever since I've removed the string, my results have been all over the place.  It's makes me nervous because by this point we should know it.  Where I used to be perfect, I'm screwing up badly.  So I'll have to go back to square one and find some willing classmates to let me practice on.  I'm sure there were some nerves tied into making those mistakes as well.  Anyway, that big screw up (and a few other things) let me to an 87 on my practical.  Not bad, but not stellar either. 

It's a scary thought realizing that everything I'm learning can never be forgotten.  Theory tests are becoming impossible to study for because no two patients are the same; however, there are still right and wrong answers.... Sometimes I can feel myself feeling like I'm shrinking when I'm sitting in lecture trying to understand very difficult concepts.  Then, I feel like I'm shrinking even more when I talk to my friends who are quickly picking up on material, finding time to get involved, and are way better at staying on top of difficult classes.  I know I'm in the right place, and that I'm smart enough, but I just get jealous of my friends who don't have to spend as much time as I do studying just to barely understand something.  They also have a lot more time to do things for themselves or party with everyone.  I have one more test on Friday, a group paper due on Wednesday, but then I'll have some breathing room.  I'm going to use this weekend to relax and catch up.  I feel like I say that every weekend, but I really want to do well on the next theory test and my finals. 

I cannot believe it's pretty much April!  My finals are the first week of May, so I really only have 4 more weeks of classes before I can say I'm officially done with my first year of optometry school!  That's seriously a scary thought to know that I'm practically 1/4 of the way onto becoming a doctor!

Well, I mainly just wrote this to let off some steam and let those who are reading this know that I'm still here!  :)

A little picture update for fun! :)

Chairs I got Tyler for his birthday!  Wolfpack red printed with a  gorgeous Block-S is a million times better than the light blue one he had before!!

Sticker Proof!!!
Since Dr. Newman (my theory and methods teacher) gives stickers for perfect test scores, I got a 100 and earned my first sticker!

Spring Break in the Blowing Rock, NC!  View from the top of our hike to the Moses Cone House

The beautiful Moses Cone House!

Surprise Bridal Shower for our good friend Erinn (bottom left in this picture)!  The girl in the top Right of the picture is her MOH who flew in for the weekend and planned the whole thing! 

Our Valentine's Day Dinner - complete with bacon-wrapped steaks!!!

The Fish Tank Fiasco!

Ever since we got married, we had talked of getting a fish tank.  Why?  Because Tyler is allergic to just about anything with fur, so fish were our best option for a first pet.  So after earning a gift card from an apartment finder website, we decided, what better purchase to make than a small ten gallon tank to get acclimated to life as fish owners.  Excited about the new adventure ahead, we set it up with a pretty mixture of blue, black, and teal rocks for the bottom, some fake plants, and a brown lava rock with a hole in the center for our future fish to swim through.  We poured some de-chlorinator in the water, then brought a water sample to the fish store, eager to purchase our first fish!

The Petco employee gave us the answer we were waiting to hear, "You're good to go!".  We picked out 3 fish - a gold gourami (to be named "Buzz"), a dwarf gourami (to be named "Iris"), and a red-tailed shark (to be named "Finley").  We came home, put the happy fish in their new home, and watched them swim around.  The next day, the gold gourami didn't look so good.  He was a little bit smaller than the rest of the fish and had gotten picked on by the shark.   He died not too long after that.  We brought him into the fish store and got a refund, but learned very soon that being picked on probably wasn't the only problem leading to his death.

A few days later, our dwarf gourami, named "Iris", died too.  But strangely enough, she looked perfectly healthy!  We were very confused.  When we brought her in to get our refund based on their guarantee, the employee asked us what we did to set up the tank.  After telling him step-by-step what we did, the friendly employee asked, "Wait... so you never cycled the tank with gold fish?"  We had no idea what he was talking about.  So, he proceeded to tell us how we needed to cycle the tank first to get some good bacteria in there.  He was pretty sure that our shark would die relatively soon, too... :(

So we purchased some goldfish to start the cycling process.  It was entertaining for the week or so that we had them to watch Finley (our shark) chase the gold fish around.  He absolutely hated their presence in the tank.  But, because goldfish produce an intense amount of ammonia and waste, after the cycling process was done, our water still wasn't healthy enough to get more fish.  We had to constantly clean out the rocks of all the broken-down waste and do 10% water changes to bring the bad levels down.

So, after about a week and half, we were pretty certain our water was good, but now it was time for my Spring Break.  So we decided that we would go to the mountains for a few days and try to get some more fish when we got back.  Finley was still alive (surprisingly), so we thought, he was just a buff fish who could withstand anything.  With this theory, we put some extra food in the tank and figured he would be fine for a few days without us... boy, were we wrong!  When we came home, Finley had jumped out of the hole in the back of the tank and landed in our toaster.  Let me take a moment here to explain that our fish tank is sitting on a raised ledge/counter in our kitchen, and the toaster sits perfectly on the standard-height countertop below the back of the tank.  So after working so hard to make the water better for Finley and future fish, the better water sat empty with zero fish.

With that story told, we were now able to start over with clean water, filled with healthy bacteria.  We started out by putting our four dwarf frogs (Olley, Kirby, Jasper, and Chip) in the tank.  Then we put in a snail and our Chinese Algae-Eater (named Bruce) to help clear up some of the algae.  We decided we didn't want another red-tailed shark.  They're a semi-aggressive and territorial fish that can jump out of a tank.  As awesome as they are to look at, that kind of fish is a little more risky than we want to deal with.  

Finally, we purchased our first new fish!  Another gold gourami, this time named Montezuma.  Where the heck did you get that name, you probably ask.  Well, his gold color made me think of Aztec gold, and Montezuma was the first "Aztec thing" that came to our minds.  We like to call him Montie for short :)

So that is the story of our fish tank.  We're really hoping it works out this time! 

Hello, Montie!

  

Learning about myself in the new semester

I'm not going to say that undergrad was easy by any stretch of the imagination, but it was certainly different than grad school.  I was able to make time for all-girl cheerleading, a sorority, being an RA, staying involved in the pre-health/pre-optometry club, and attending football and basketball games.  I have no idea how I managed to do all of this around school... oh yeah - tests were never cumulative and I only took 18 hours at the most!

Optometry school has included 23 hour semesters and studying, not to pass a test, but to understand how to care for patients.  This semester we have 8 classes totaling 23.5 hours!  With what I learned from last semester, I've been able to improve my grades significantly!

These past few months have been a whirlwind of coping with stress, balancing studies, and handling the roller coaster of emotions.  I was nominated based on last semester's GPA and recommendations from faculty, staff, and current student ambassadors to be a part of Southern College of Optometry's Student Ambassador program.  It was something I really wanted to do, and didn't get super involved at SCO to make sure I would have time for it if I got selected.  See, that was my problem at NC State.  If something sounded interesting, I just did it without taking my personal time (and life) into consideration.  I was bound and determined to not do that in grad school, especially since I'm married and live about 30 minutes away from school.  I prayed for two weeks after turning in my application for God's will to be done in my life.  Well, after interviewing and competing for one of 10 slots (against 33 very qualified students), I was not selected.  I was really bummed considering I had gotten my hopes up very high and asked a TON of friends and family to pray for me.  But what I've learned is that God is calling me to relax for the first time in my life.

I've always been an over-achiever, which was pretty easy to do in undergrad when the majority of students do the minimum to get the degree and know that a job is waiting for them at the end.  However, the student body at SCO consists of 120 first-year students just like me!  All of us are still perfectionists, leaders, and over-achievers!  So, I take a look around and realize what I looked like to everyone else.  I can see the stress and wonder why they put themselves through it.  I'm learning that God wants me to be a good wife, to gain close relationships with good friends, and worry about my success as a future doctor, not my success as an involved student.  As the eye changes focus from looking at something close-up to looking at something far-away, I have had to do the same in my life.  I have had to change my focus on the future and not just how involved I am at SCO.  I study with the needs of future patients in my mind.  I am constantly thinking about my career and what type of work environment I want to be a part of in a few years.  The future is my focus and with that I have some great updates to share!

The past two weeks included 7 tests and my interview.  I made an 89 on my opthalmic optics practical, a 90 on my opthalmic optics test, an 85 on anatomy, a 100 on theory and methods (100's get stickers in his class by the way), an 81.8 in optics (by the way, my first test of the semester in that class was a 100, so I tried to shift my focus to other classes), and a 100 in ocular physiology!  I got a tutor for physiology this semester because I didn't do well in that teacher's class last semester, and it really paid off!  The one test that I haven't gotten back from the past two week's test marathon is intro to optometry.  I'm certain I did quite well on it, but he had to leave town last week on a family emergency.  Apparently, his father is in the hospital, so I'm patiently waiting for that grade.

All in all, the semester has started out wonderful!  I couldn't ask for anything better.  At this very moment, I am relaxing in the mountains of North Carolina with my wonderful husband!  Yesterday, we ate dinner at Hardee's, and today we got brunch at Bojangle's.  Neither one of these places exist in Memphis, so they were a must while back home :).  We will have to find some time to go to Cookout later for a spectacular milk shake.  Don't tell Tony Horton... yes I started p90x with a fellow classmate this semester - we're insane!

Until next time!  I'm relaxing, not studying! :)

The Eye Ball... because we're that nerdy

Carolina Girls - Best in the World!  3 UNC girls and 3 NC State girls

Yes!  SCO has an Eye Ball, and by that I mean a dance.  We got to dance the night away at a convention center at the  Zoo.  Before the dance, Tyler and I went over to Erinn and Joey's house.  We got a small group of close friends to order some pizza and just chill out together before the dance.  Here are some pictures:

free beer and wine for everyone!

Tyler's been friends with Rebecca for a while, and now she and I are classmates!

First we interviewed together and now we're classmates

Tyler and I also took an earlier day that weekend to look at some apartments closer to school.  We're going to have to take a ton of other details into account and see what we decide because moving is a pain... but it's also a huge pain to drive 35 minutes in unbearable traffic everyday to school and again coming home from school.

Tyler also got us a fish tank yesterday with some extra money that we had.  I cannot wait to get it set up together and have some pretty fish swimming around inside! :)  Everyone in school seems to have a pet, so this is our way since Tyler is allergic to dogs and cats.

Until next time! <3

Starting the end on a good note

Well hey!  I finally have a second to breathe and update this blog after one hectic week.  I had two final lab practicals and test and a quiz all this week... right after the Thanksgiving break!  Everything went well!  My final lab grade for anatomy was a 96, I got a 95 on my optics test, and I did really well on my final lab practical for Theory and Methods.

For the Theory and Methods practical we had to take visual acuities and perform retinoscopy, manifest refraction, and binocular balance within 15minutes.  If we had extra time, we got to do one extra task chosen at random for extra credit.  I did everything within my time limit and had just a little extra time after completing my extra credit - I got lateral and vertical phorias.  I really needed that wonderful grade because my last practical didn't go so well.  I got cover testing which I hate - so obviously, it wasn't a pretty picture...

I have 6 finals standing between me and my Christmas break!  I am so ready to knock 'em out and drive home to see some wonderful faces that I haven't seen in a while!

Anyway, I'm going to take the night off, so off to some much needed relaxation!!

The beginnings of a newly decorated apartment

We still have a little ways to go, but here are some pictures to show you the start of our newly decorated apartment!  I painted the furniture that Tyler's mom gave to us with a dark brown paint and found some sleeker style handles to put on the drawers.  Tyler put two coats of polyurethane on there, and now the bedroom is starting to come together with some style!

The living room looks fantastic with red slip covers.  We decided to extend the red black and white theme in the kitchen out to the dining room and living room since it's really like one big open space!  I will show the pictures we have so far! :)

Before: Bland and white...

After: Red black and white!  Tyler hung the "curtains" (they're actually flat sheets from Wal-Mart), and the picture above the sofa that Tyler's mom got for us from Kirklands :)

We love the red slip covers from Target!!!

The gorgeous mantle that matches the style!

Before: white like the walls

After: Brown and sleek

The end table and repainted lamps

After: The furniture is a sleek brown with new handles!!!